On Twitter: @JamesEppler
The remake of "The Evil Dead" isn't so much scary as it is incredibly violent. And in a time when so many movies try to use gore to be shocking, none of them are.
Sam Raimi's 1981 original was hugely influential for the horror genre, and compared to today's splatter-fests, it still holds up.
Raimi is listed as a producer for the new movie directed by Fede Alvaraz, which once again finds five twenty-somethings in a cabin in the woods being terrorized by demonic forces.
You can't blame the demons for taking advantage of these idiots who insist on breaking every horror movie rule: don't go into the woods alone, don't go down into the dark cellar alone where you hear noises, and don't read aloud from the ancient book of spells that tells you to leave the book alone on page one.
I'll allow the direction is capable, and the makeup and special effects are impressive, but unlike the other "Evil Dead" movies, this one is largely humorless other than one character who thinks duct tape can patch up even the most mortal wounds.
I'm reminded how much I enjoyed last year's "Cabin in the Woods," a violent, funny, high-concept horror movie that worked to skewer movies like this one.
In the end, the 2013 "Evil Dead" joins other horror movie remakes like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Nightmare on Elm Street," and "Halloween" - totally uncalled for, unnecessary and completely forgettable.
EPPLER'S RATING: * *
Out of five stars