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@JamesEpplerI just got home from a Caribbean cruise aboard a ship roughly the size of Plainview.
Since these cruises draw international crowds, organizers try to incorporate as many cultures as they can into the entertainment.
I was there with my wife and several members of her family - almost all of us from the Lone Star State. So imagine how excited we were when we saw "Country Western Dancing" scheduled after dinner one night.
Excited, but skeptical on my part. The band performing was "The Frontliners," a Filipino group which the night previous had performed a fun 80s show. That seemed to be their element, even though they did about five Michael Jackson songs in an hour.
But country music? Hmm. It might be interesting purely as a novelty act.
After dinner, we rush to the club on board hosting the dance. It's called "Dazzles" - clue number one this "Country Western Dance" may not be legit.
Clue number two: we're told by "The Frontliners'" lead singer that we're going to be learning some "rine dancing." Now look - I realize that sounds horribly racist, but my hand to God, it's the truth.
The band opens with an old Dolly Parton number. Not exactly current stuff, but hey, you can two-step to it.
A few songs later they announced they were playing a more modern hit. "Does anyone know 'Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under'?" the lead singer asks.
You mean the Shania Twain song from 16 years ago? Yup, know that one. But as it turns out, that's about as modern country as "The Frontliners" got.
When it came time to start line dancing, an instructor came onto the floor and told us we'd first be learning the "Boot Scootin' Boogie." Hey, how were they supposed to know it would only be a group of Texans on the dance floor who mostly knew that one already? Besides, people sitting at tables seemed to be having a ball watching these yokels move funny.
After that first line dance, the lady tells us it's time for a reeeaalllly big one called the "Achy Breaky."
Yes - that's the dance I learned in fourth grade set to the Billy Ray Cyrus hit. I did the thing in roller skates at Skate Ranch #1 here in Lubbock. My girlfriend at the time was really impressed.
As we did the heel-heel-toe-toe-heel-toe-sidestep, I wondered if this is what people in other parts of the world think we do in Texas. Forget Miley Cyrus - we still think her dad's still the bomb around here! He lost us when he lost the mullet.
Maybe it's just the disconnect between cultures around the world and how we tend to ascribe certain traits or social movements to certain groups forever.
It shouldn't be that way, but perhaps that's just the way things are for now. But if that's the case, I wish we could get something other than the "Achy Breaky."
I'm okay with people thinking we ride horses to work every day.
